"Name that Ligament"
By: Alison Ross
Setting: The Shoulder
Dramatis Personae:
CLAVICLE - A long bone which articulates with the manubriam medially and the Scapula laterally.
SCAPULA - An irregular bone with many aspects that are difficult to memorize.
Set: CLAVICLE and SCAPULA are uncomfortably close together, connected by many ligaments, and surrounded by musculature.
Scene One:
CLAVICLE
Hey, what is the name of the ligament that connects us?
SCAPULA
Do you mean the Acromioclavicular ligament?
CLAVICLE
No, no. There's one...or two of them...and they attatch to your...um
(beat)
SCAPULA
Corocoid process?
CLAVICLE
That's the one!
SCAPULA
Hot damn.
CLAVICLE
But what are they called?
SCAPULA
Oh! Oh! The Conoid Ligament?
CLAVICLE
Well that's one, but what's the other?
SCAPULA
It starts with a T...
CLAVICLE
Ah, right. The Trapezoid Ligament.
SCAPULA
Well there we are, a job well done.
CLAVICLE
No wait, there's a special name for when they're together.
SCAPULA
Look, this is all getting a little tedious, can we just talk about the latest episode of House, or something?
CLAVICLE
Got it! The Coricoclavicular Ligaments!
SCAPULA
Fuck you and fuck this class.
End of Scene.
May 14, 2008
May 7, 2008
R.I.P. Frederick.
Good Wedensday, to you all.
I finished my Dad's birthday present. I have made him this friendly little fellow:
Hopefully my Dad will think this is adorable and not A Bit Sad.
Till next.
Here are some things I have done today (with no semblance of chronology):
-Walked to the comic bookstore.
-Subsequently got Jossed. (By Drew Goddard no less.)
-Made a bow out of kleenex.
-Knit 10 rnds on my right-hand fishy glove.
-Recorded a song. (Possibly not for public consumption)
-Continued reading/making notes on my WWII project.
-Worked on breaking down scenes for my Hamlet project. (Things are getting wack in Elsinore, yo.)
See, I am doing lots of work. Just not work that is going to see me getting paid anytime soon.
See, I am doing lots of work. Just not work that is going to see me getting paid anytime soon.
Summer! Bah!
I need to get a job. I am bored. I am boring.
I finished my Dad's birthday present. I have made him this friendly little fellow:
It's a Nautiloid!
His tag reads "Hi, my name is Floyd. Nice to meet you, Rick. I'm so glad we are going to be friends. Here is some stuff about me:
Likes: Reefs, Crustacean Exo-skeletons, Paleontologists.
Dislikes: Poachers, Predators, Extinction."
Hopefully my Dad will think this is adorable and not A Bit Sad.
In actual sad news, yesterday when I went to get the mail I found a dead bird in my garden. After much hemming and hawing about maggoty carrots, I decided to give him a proper burial in an unused part of the garden. I named him Frederick. Poor guy.
I have decided that my summer project is going to be a stop-motion film, with yarn as my medium. Specifically, knitted things. For this I require three things: Cheap Yarn, a small tripod, and more patience than I possess. Wish me luck!
(Generally my summer projects are pipe-dreams and never actually occur. We shall see.)
In closing, here is a song that I whipped up for the Sunday Song exchange. It is entitled Robot Song.
Till next.
May 1, 2008
You're all in Europe anyways.
Well, I have just experienced the fun time of having written a whole post and then having it disappear before my eyes.
Since I am bored and lonely while everyone I've ever met is in Europe for the month, I will try to recreate my efforts. Only for you, internet.
Since I am bored and lonely while everyone I've ever met is in Europe for the month, I will try to recreate my efforts. Only for you, internet.
Things I have been up to:
1. Cruising Craigslists of various cities, looking for interesting story ideas. Here is a winner: from the Strictly Platonic section of Los Angeles, I uncovered this gem. Does the phrase 'Knee Deep in Poon' give anyone else a very literal image?
2. Buying stuff off Craigslist. For $100 I got all five seasons of Angel. What a steal!
3. Watching ungaurded webcams/security cams. Thanks SA Forums! I spent a bit of time last night spying on some sketchy suckers manning the front counter of a porn store. Also tried to catch a glimpse of Fritz, but to no avail.
4. Reading a new personal WWII account. This fellow's platoon was in the 4th Canadian Infantry Division, and they were involved in the Battle of the Schelt, and apparently the fellow himself was the one who planned the Battle of Bergen-op-Zoom, so it's right in the area/timeframe that I'm considering setting my series. (Should I ever have the opportunity to make it.)
As a result of reading so much about Canadian WWII Soldiers, I ended up putting together a little ditty. It's just sort of what I've gotten out of reading this book and 'A Canuck in England' by Howard Clegg. I want to find out what happened to Clegg after 1942 but I can't seem to dig anything up.
In other news, got accepted to Vancouver Film School for August of 09. I am so excited and very very pleased, but am now starting to really notice all the things about Victoria that I will really miss.
Like living down the street from a place that not only has excellent pizza, but has hot, fresh, excellent pizza 15 minutes after you order it.
Oh, and most of my friends and half my family live here.
But nonetheless I will bravely go to Vancouver, a large city where I know few people. I will weather the storm of finding someplace to live, and learning my way around the city. But know this: I will be terrified the entire time.
HOORAY!
April 19, 2008
I am an Absentee Blogger
So, not actually dead.
Just, exams and things, y'know.
But, alas, there is much news on all fronts:
Knitting Knews:
It's amazing, it's absolutely unbelievable: I only have two squares left to knit for my Stupidly Large Afghan before I get to the fun fun fun of blocking all 64 squares. UGH.
I have half a sweater sleeve. Woo!
I designed and knitted a pair of mittens for my amiga's birthday using the leftovers from my failed attempt at a mohawk hat for my brother. They are red and black and have a fair-isle design of the Mighty Boosh monkey on them. Each mitt has half a face so that when you put them together they make the whole face! I forgot to take pics but hopefully I can do that, and then I will post them as well as the pattern.
I finished my Ravenclaw guitar strap but...I didn't really turn out. So I stole my brothers. Some habits never die.
Next: To find some Eskimo, for a second (third?) attempt at the mohawk hat.
Writing News:
I am in the process of putting together my application for Film School. Unfortunately, I won't actually get to go until August of '09. Another long year of slogging through academia.
Wrock News:
The Violent Puffskiens have an amp! Songs are in production.
I have a new side-project! The first song up I did entirely on music software, and it is kind of electro-pop-y, but I intend to do all sorts of genres. I am particularly proud of the song though. It's called 'Tickle the Pear.'
In Other News, I have discovered that I really like the new Britney Spears song 'Piece of Me.' I cannot explain it. Sometimes, that is just life.
Just, exams and things, y'know.
But, alas, there is much news on all fronts:
Knitting Knews:
It's amazing, it's absolutely unbelievable: I only have two squares left to knit for my Stupidly Large Afghan before I get to the fun fun fun of blocking all 64 squares. UGH.
I have half a sweater sleeve. Woo!
I designed and knitted a pair of mittens for my amiga's birthday using the leftovers from my failed attempt at a mohawk hat for my brother. They are red and black and have a fair-isle design of the Mighty Boosh monkey on them. Each mitt has half a face so that when you put them together they make the whole face! I forgot to take pics but hopefully I can do that, and then I will post them as well as the pattern.
I finished my Ravenclaw guitar strap but...I didn't really turn out. So I stole my brothers. Some habits never die.
Next: To find some Eskimo, for a second (third?) attempt at the mohawk hat.
Writing News:
I am in the process of putting together my application for Film School. Unfortunately, I won't actually get to go until August of '09. Another long year of slogging through academia.
Wrock News:
The Violent Puffskiens have an amp! Songs are in production.
I have a new side-project! The first song up I did entirely on music software, and it is kind of electro-pop-y, but I intend to do all sorts of genres. I am particularly proud of the song though. It's called 'Tickle the Pear.'
In Other News, I have discovered that I really like the new Britney Spears song 'Piece of Me.' I cannot explain it. Sometimes, that is just life.
April 8, 2008
Confession
Dear University,
I have something to confess to you. It is something that I have kept inside of me now for the better part of two years' time, and it is this:
I am not an anthropologist. I am not, in this life or any other, going to seek work in the field of anthropology. I do not plan to apply for a Masters degree, nor do I plan to continue any study in the field of Anthropology after my bachelor's.
Do not get me wrong, I am very deeply interested in Anthropology. Well, physical anyways, and archaeology. Cultural anthropology can very politely go assess it's post-modern holistic views somewhere very far away from me, for all I care. But I do love human evolution, the archaeological record, the evolution of civilization, and everything that the fair faculty has taught me.
But I know that I must now get these feelings out in the open, because it is important to be honest, especially if one is to call oneself an 'adult.'*
So if you've been wondering why I haven't been coming to class, and why my assignments have...lacked lustre, it's for this reason:
While I find the study of Anthropology very interesting, I don't want to do it for a living.
I want to be a writer. I want to write.
And I don't much care for citations.
Sincerely,
Alison.
*I am by no means actually attempting to call myself an adult.
Man, it feels good to get that off my chest.
Now I return to writing a take-home exam on the cultural aspects of technology.
I have something to confess to you. It is something that I have kept inside of me now for the better part of two years' time, and it is this:
I am not an anthropologist. I am not, in this life or any other, going to seek work in the field of anthropology. I do not plan to apply for a Masters degree, nor do I plan to continue any study in the field of Anthropology after my bachelor's.
Do not get me wrong, I am very deeply interested in Anthropology. Well, physical anyways, and archaeology. Cultural anthropology can very politely go assess it's post-modern holistic views somewhere very far away from me, for all I care. But I do love human evolution, the archaeological record, the evolution of civilization, and everything that the fair faculty has taught me.
But I know that I must now get these feelings out in the open, because it is important to be honest, especially if one is to call oneself an 'adult.'*
So if you've been wondering why I haven't been coming to class, and why my assignments have...lacked lustre, it's for this reason:
While I find the study of Anthropology very interesting, I don't want to do it for a living.
I want to be a writer. I want to write.
And I don't much care for citations.
Sincerely,
Alison.
*I am by no means actually attempting to call myself an adult.
Man, it feels good to get that off my chest.
Now I return to writing a take-home exam on the cultural aspects of technology.
April 1, 2008
My New Pal Teddy
Furthermore, sailors, I have decided to that now is the right time to discuss my new aquisition.
Cats and kittens, Alex and I are now one-half of a step further towards actually writing/recording anything for The Violent Puffskeins, because...
...
I bought my very first electric guitar!
His name is Teddy. Strat-style, three single coil pick-ups, lime and seafoam. Very classy. My mom made that quilt.
Unfortunately: Still lacking amplification. However, this should be remedied shortly. And once we are amped and ready to go, The Violent Puffskeins will be pumping out punk Wrock anthems for wizards and muggles alike!
Erm. That is, if anyone can teach me how to play Ramones-style punk guitar. Because yes, I am probably so inept that I will have great difficulty figuring it out myself. I am, after all, striving for adequacy.
So, there you have it folks. I am very nearly electric, and ready to Wrock.
(and yes, my new guitar is named Teddy, and yes, my acoustic guitar is named James, and yes, they may or may not be the names of next-gen characters. SO WHAT OKAY.)
Cats and kittens, Alex and I are now one-half of a step further towards actually writing/recording anything for The Violent Puffskeins, because...
...
I bought my very first electric guitar!
His name is Teddy. Strat-style, three single coil pick-ups, lime and seafoam. Very classy. My mom made that quilt.
Unfortunately: Still lacking amplification. However, this should be remedied shortly. And once we are amped and ready to go, The Violent Puffskeins will be pumping out punk Wrock anthems for wizards and muggles alike!
Erm. That is, if anyone can teach me how to play Ramones-style punk guitar. Because yes, I am probably so inept that I will have great difficulty figuring it out myself. I am, after all, striving for adequacy.
So, there you have it folks. I am very nearly electric, and ready to Wrock.
(and yes, my new guitar is named Teddy, and yes, my acoustic guitar is named James, and yes, they may or may not be the names of next-gen characters. SO WHAT OKAY.)
The bird! The bird! The bird is on fire!
Hello again, blogbuddies.
My writing class CD-Swap was a riotous success! Seriously, there was rioting. And now that it's over I am going to post my cover art/track listings. (Bonus: GoonMix)
I know, I know, not as cool as Meg's, but I had a lot of fun making them.
The first one I made was designed to be far far too upbeat and positive. I may or may not have achieved this, but hopefully it went over well with the recipient.
Overly positive: Hence, Unicorn crapping a rainbow.
And my second CD was a sampler of my favorite Wizard Rock, but of course.
1. Wizard Rock Twist - The Remus Lupins
Had I heard Dumbledore's "R U down w/OOTP" before I made this CD it TOTALLY would have been on there. It is amazing.
Last we have the mix I've made for the 5th SA Mix-CD Swap. This little baby is going to Tennessee, and I excitedly await my own. And yes, Scooty Puff Jr. is my SA username.
1. Autoclave - The Mountain Goats
In other WizRock news, I totally fell for the April Fools Day prank and had to be calmed down. I am also patiently awaiting the first shipment of the EP of the Month Club, and my Gred and Forge CD. Hoo-Ray!
Now I must fiendishly devise my Family Dinner mix-cd.
My writing class CD-Swap was a riotous success! Seriously, there was rioting. And now that it's over I am going to post my cover art/track listings. (Bonus: GoonMix)
I know, I know, not as cool as Meg's, but I had a lot of fun making them.
The first one I made was designed to be far far too upbeat and positive. I may or may not have achieved this, but hopefully it went over well with the recipient.
Overly positive: Hence, Unicorn crapping a rainbow.
3. Autoclave - The Mountain Goats
4. I'm a cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian
5. Sunken-Eyed Girl - Mike Doughty
6. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor
7. Sleep On Needles - Sondre Lerche
8. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars
8. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars
9. Intermission - Scissor Sisters
10. Photograph - Weezer
11. The Future Is Now - The Solids
12. I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters
13. Slytherin Don't Dance - The Remus Lupins 14. Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
15. Flaming - Pink Floyd
16. Debaser - Rogue Wave
17. Eddie's Ragga - Spoon
18. Wave of Mutilation - The Pixies
19. D.O.A. - Foo Fighters (??)
20. Supersonic - Bad Religion
21. Rockaway Beach - The Ramones
22. Your Honor - Regina Spektor
23. Hot in Here - Jenny Owen Youngs
And my second CD was a sampler of my favorite Wizard Rock, but of course.
1. Wizard Rock Twist - The Remus Lupins
2. My Dad is Rich - Draco and the Malfoys
3. Cornelius Fudge is an Ass - Harry and the Potters
4. It's Not Half Bad - The Parselmouths
5. The Ballad of Neville and Luna - The Remus Lupins
6. Save the Quibbler - Gred and Forge
7. Who is Blaise Zabini - The Parselmouths
8. (not gonna put on) The Monkey Suit - Harry and the Potters
9. Final Breath - The Remus Lupins
10. Flesh, Blood and Bone - Harry and the Potters
11. Potions Yesterday - Draco and the Malfoys
12. Quidditch is my Favorite Sport - The Parselmouths
13. Looking for Trouble - The Remus Lupins
14. Your Family is Poor - Draco and the Malfoys
15. Save Ginny Weasley (From Dean Thomas) - Harry and the Potters
16. The 7th Horcrux - The Remus Lupins
17. Love Song for Professor Lupin - The Parselmouths
18. Slytherin Don't Dance - The Remus Lupins
19. Hermione's Birds and Boys - Harry and the Potters
20. Your Flying Car - Draco and the Malfoys
21. Proud - The Remus Lupins
22. These Days are Dark - Harry and the Potters
Had I heard Dumbledore's "R U down w/OOTP" before I made this CD it TOTALLY would have been on there. It is amazing.
Last we have the mix I've made for the 5th SA Mix-CD Swap. This little baby is going to Tennessee, and I excitedly await my own. And yes, Scooty Puff Jr. is my SA username.
1. Autoclave - The Mountain Goats
2. Small Change - Dispatch
3. I'm a Cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian
4. That Time - Regina Spektor
5. Wizard Rock Twist - The Remus Lupins
6. Debaser - Rogue Wave
7. Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
8. Monkey Gone to Heaven - The Pixies
9. Flaming - Pink Floyd
10. John the Revelator - Depeche Mode
11. The KKK Took My Baby Away - Ramones
12. Evangeline - Bad Religion
13. California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys
14. Bone Machine - The Pixies
15. Your Honor - Regina Spektor
16. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
17. Devil Town - Bright Eyes
18. Hot in Herre - Jenny Owen Youngs
19. Still Alive - GLaDOS
In other WizRock news, I totally fell for the April Fools Day prank and had to be calmed down. I am also patiently awaiting the first shipment of the EP of the Month Club, and my Gred and Forge CD. Hoo-Ray!
Now I must fiendishly devise my Family Dinner mix-cd.
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