The bird! The bird! The bird is on fire!

Hello again, blogbuddies.

My writing class CD-Swap was a riotous success! Seriously, there was rioting. And now that it's over I am going to post my cover art/track listings. (Bonus: GoonMix)

I know, I know, not as cool as Meg's, but I had a lot of fun making them.

The first one I made was designed to be far far too upbeat and positive. I may or may not have achieved this, but hopefully it went over well with the recipient.

Overly positive: Hence, Unicorn crapping a rainbow.

1.
Intro - ???
2. Headphone Song - Junior Senior

3. Autoclave - The Mountain Goats

4. I'm a cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian

5. Sunken-Eyed Girl - Mike Doughty

6. Hotel Song - Regina Spektor

7. Sleep On Needles - Sondre Lerche
8. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars

9. Intermission - Scissor Sisters

10. Photograph - Weezer

11. The Future Is Now - The Solids

12. I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters

13. Slytherin Don't Dance - The Remus Lupins 14. Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel

15. Flaming - Pink Floyd

16. Debaser - Rogue Wave

17. Eddie's Ragga - Spoon

18. Wave of Mutilation - The Pixies

19. D.O.A. - Foo Fighters (??)

20. Supersonic - Bad Religion

21. Rockaway Beach - The Ramones

22. Your Honor - Regina Spektor

23. Hot in Here - Jenny Owen Youngs

And my second CD was a sampler of my favorite Wizard Rock, but of course.

1. Wizard Rock Twist - The Remus Lupins

2. My Dad is Rich - Draco and the Malfoys

3. Cornelius Fudge is an Ass - Harry and the Potters

4. It's Not Half Bad - The Parselmouths

5. The Ballad of Neville and Luna - The Remus Lupins

6. Save the Quibbler - Gred and Forge

7. Who is Blaise Zabini - The Parselmouths

8. (not gonna put on) The Monkey Suit - Harry and the Potters

9. Final Breath - The Remus Lupins

10. Flesh, Blood and Bone - Harry and the Potters

11. Potions Yesterday - Draco and the Malfoys

12. Quidditch is my Favorite Sport - The Parselmouths

13. Looking for Trouble - The Remus Lupins

14. Your Family is Poor - Draco and the Malfoys

15. Save Ginny Weasley (From Dean Thomas) - Harry and the Potters

16. The 7th Horcrux - The Remus Lupins

17. Love Song for Professor Lupin - The Parselmouths

18. Slytherin Don't Dance - The Remus Lupins

19. Hermione's Birds and Boys - Harry and the Potters

20. Your Flying Car - Draco and the Malfoys

21. Proud - The Remus Lupins

22. These Days are Dark - Harry and the Potters

Had I heard Dumbledore's "R U down w/OOTP" before I made this CD it TOTALLY would have been on there. It is amazing.

Last we have the mix I've made for the 5th SA Mix-CD Swap. This little baby is going to Tennessee, and I excitedly await my own. And yes, Scooty Puff Jr. is my SA username.

1. Autoclave - The Mountain Goats

2. Small Change - Dispatch

3. I'm a Cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian

4. That Time - Regina Spektor

5. Wizard Rock Twist - The Remus Lupins

6. Debaser - Rogue Wave

7. Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel

8. Monkey Gone to Heaven - The Pixies

9. Flaming - Pink Floyd

10. John the Revelator - Depeche Mode

11. The KKK Took My Baby Away - Ramones

12. Evangeline - Bad Religion

13. California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys

14. Bone Machine - The Pixies

15. Your Honor - Regina Spektor

16. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens

17. Devil Town - Bright Eyes

18. Hot in Herre - Jenny Owen Youngs

19. Still Alive - GLaDOS

In other WizRock news, I totally fell for the April Fools Day prank and had to be calmed down. I am also patiently awaiting the first shipment of the EP of the Month Club, and my Gred and Forge CD. Hoo-Ray!

Now I must fiendishly devise my Family Dinner mix-cd.

Is it the size, or the shape?

Or the pounding bassline?

10 points if you know the episode.

Anyways, speaking of bassline, Alex and I were jammin last night, and we had this opening bassline stuck in our heads like

dundundundundundundundun dodododod dndndndn

And we could not remember for the life of us what song it was from, but we knew that it was something we had heard before, and many a time. So we sat for a good twenty minutes, she with her thinking cap on, and me going "It's a wrock song, I know it is! No maybe it's Weezer. No, the Pixies. No, it has to be wizard rock."

And while she eventually found that she had been thinking of The Kaiser Chiefs "When we were young" this did not wholly sate my curiosity.

But this morning I realized it was the opening baseline from Wizard Chess by Harry and the Potters.

Ha! Take that, world!

We also wrote the best/most obnoxious song ever. It is called "Saturday Service." It's about the bus.

I hope some day that I can post it for your listening displeasure.

For the people who are still alive.

This is a Wrock post!

But first, allow me to briefly talk about sandwiches.

I have discovered the secret to making the finest grilled tuna sandwiches west of the Mississip. Prior to this discovery, I had a serious grilled tuna problem: It took a very short time for the cheese to melt, but quite a long time for the tuna to become entirely heated.

The solution?

Warm the tuna in the microwave for exactly 43.5 seconds prior to placement on the bread. Then, in a frying pan on medium-low heat, put the cheese side down first. Let the cheese melt and the bread get crispy-good, and then flip until bread is crispy on opposite side.
It is so simple I can't believe I didn't think of it before.

Today's sandwich:

-Whole Wheat Bread
-Tuna (mixed with mayo, cut up snow peas, dilly dip and feta cheese)
-Kraft singles (Oh you shudder, but this is heaven)

Lovingly grilled to perfection and served with chicken soup. Truly Alison Day is a day of Kings.

Now, on to the Wrock!

The band I attempted to start previous to The Violent Puffskeins was called "The Wet Blankets and One Very Lonely Marauder." This is, indeed, a Shoebox reference. The thing about the band was that I started writing songs after reading Shoebox, and they were all related in some way, to the events of Shoebox.

I got all excited about it, and then I scrapped the band for these reasons:

-It wasn't entirely canon. I didn't want to start some sort of horrible Paranthropus Wrock movement, where soon people would be creating bands based on their horrible Mary-Sues. I do not want to be responsible for that shit.
-Most of the songs I had written didn't really have that many canon references in them, which I find is a staple of Wrock music. They were mostly conceptual, and about feelings. Well, some songs had direct references to Shoebox in them, but not everyone considers that canon, so...

Anyways, I still like the songs I wrote, and I feel like it's a waste for them to sit around, so I thought I would post them here from time to time.
Take note: these songs won't make too much sense if you haven't read shoebox. Or Harry Potter for that matter.

This song takes place in the summer of 1976, (Part Thirteen) while Remus is keeping his dream diary, and trying to figure out his shit. That's mostly what the song is about. That and Sirius.
If it sounds kind of twangy, it's because I suck at guitar, and if the singing is bad, that's only because I'm bad at singing. Enjoy!

This is Not Rational but Oh Well

And for those who don't want to hear about fictional boy-love in the 1970's, here is that song about burning all my files to CD because my hard drive died. IT'S SAD OKAY.

300 Gigabytes

(And I urge everyone to download the Portal soundtrack and to listen to "Still Alive.")

I solemly swear I will use up my stash.

I HAVE COME TO A DECISION.

I solemly swear, on my favorite yellow 7mm straights, due to rent and tuition, that I am not going to purchase any more yarn (save for Cascade for the S.L.A.) until I have at least some type of incoming cash flow. Yes, that's right. It's all working with what I got from here on out. And since, as we've already seen, what I've got is quite a lot, this shouldn't be a problem.
---

In other knitting knews, I am almost finished the mohawk toque for my brothers (very much passed) birthday. I will post pics when it is finished. It's in the wash right now, hopefully felting quite successfully. I am a bit concerned about it, because while it is 46% wool and 15% alpaca, it's also 39% acrylic. I could be totally screwed, re: the essential mohawkian fringe.

Hopefully it all works out.

There's quite a bit of bulky red and black Van Dyck left over from it, and I am considering making some seriously heavy duty mittens. Though I do have other mitten plans for the leftovers of my Stupidly Large Afghan. I want to make a pair of these but instead of orange and yellow, I want to use as much as my leftover yarn as possible (so, all eight colors) using the grey from the border as the main color. Fair Isle fun for everyone!

Self Deprecation: Learn it, Love it.

Have you ever found something that's meant to be humorous, except it reflects you so accurately that it's really just sad?

Long story short, (Short story shorter) I was browsing the latest McSweeney's Lists and I found this:

---

Titles of Love Songs I Would Write for People Like Me.
BY KATHY SALERNO
- - - -
"A Friend Again, Naturally"

"Hopelessly Inexperienced Sexually"

"Mind Boyfriend's Back"

"Wishing, Hoping, Checking Your MySpace Relationship Status"

"Never Gonna Ask You Out, Never Gonna Make My Move"

"Give Me Just a Little More Time (By Then You'll Surely Be Dating Someone Else)"

"Are You That Anybody?"

"Let's Give Them Something to Prove I'm Straight"

---

Har Har.

In other news, I am still CD-Mix crazy! After Monday, when the Writ203 swap is complete, I will post the tracklistings for my two mixes, and possibly pics of the cover art as well. (Ooh la la)

Am still working on my mix for the SA Mix-CD Swap. I was going for mellow but it seems to be coming off a bit depressing. I tried to kick it up in the middle with some Weezer but alas, there may be further revamping required. It's going to be headed for some lucky fellow in Tennessee, and I don't want to bum him out.

Earwax Buddha

This post is not about knitting, wrock or writing.

Well...it's kind of about writing.

A few days ago, a very wise lady called me at about midnight and told me that all art is masturbation.
She said (and I hope I'm getting this right) that literature, television, film, and all the rest, are just ways to indulge ourselves, with the end result being that we ignore all of the terrible things going on in the world, for the sake of self-titillation.

I thought a lot about that concept. About the basic statement.

All Art is masturbation. (This, of course, does not work in the reciprocal.)

And I came to a conclusion about my own view of art, and life, and society:

I think art is a hospice.
I think the world is an incurable knot of cancerous tissue. Humanity is this rancid canker sore that gets bigger and bigger, churning out true-life horror and pain.

But if the world is a tumour, then art is the palliative care unit.
We make you comfortable until it's your time to go. We provide clear-cut heroes and villains, and structure that doesn't exist in life. We let you achieve themes of beauty, truth and love that are, at best, only subjectively acheived in reality.
And we provide humour, because if you ever thought about all the awful crap going down in the world, it probably wouldn't end well. We need humour to temper the absolute abomination of humanity.

So we should take comfort in art because it's everything we aspire to and may never acheive.
--
After writing all this out for said wise lady, I immediately scared the crap out of myself. I have no idea how I got to be this cynical. I remember being in high school and thinking that true love was out there, and that everything would be kittens and rainbows forever. But I just don't seem to think that anymore.

Maybe it was all state of mind. Because I know when I'm walking home from the 14 stop, and the breeze is slight but just right, and the cherry petals are drifting down like confetti from a ticker tape parade, I think the world is beautiful.

I guess I'm not really sure what I think.

Sandwhat?

Whilst writing that last post, I was eating a fabulous sandwich that I feel obligated to tell you about:

-Whole Wheat Bread
-Dilly Dip
-Mediterranian Turkey Meatloaf
-Avacado
-Red Pepper
and
-Lettuce

I wish I had put feta in it.

(Baha! I feel like Jane Espenson!)